I sit here. Wanting to write a letter or an ode to this jittery joes. But, that isn’t quite the head space I am in.
I think that is what has been frustrating me the past few months. I haven’t known quite where my head space has been. It has felt too much to put into words. But, then, when I do try to put any of it into words, I want to unpack the complex. I want words that capture the tensions within me and around me.
Last night it hit me. I was sitting in Toni’s rooms watching him soak in the words of a song. It was as if I wasn’t in the room in the most pure and beautiful way. It took my breath away. He was dwelling in the Father. Here I was in this profound moment- yet so simple and so raw.
There have been a lot of simple moments unfolding in front of me that have taken my breath away. I sit here and type and choke up thinking about them.
Something about watching kids become friends over Zoom chat in the purest way stops me in my tracks. Something about watching a kid bravely turn their video on. Something about a kid putting through pronouns on the screen. Something about a kid showing up on Zoom, despite the chaos in their world. It will take your breath away. It will if you let it.
The humility too.
I have been so drawn to the quiet bravery of others. So drawn to the raw moments where one reveals that they are in process.
The simple moments.
The moments where we are utterly human. Deeply craving one another. Craving what is beyond us.
The moments where the tee olive tree is in full bloom and that honey peach scent finds you. The moments where the air losses its humidity and something about that shift heals something within you. The moment where you hold the hand of someone you love. The moment where golden hour sweeps you into rest. The moment where you are eating pancakes on the floor at 11:00pm with your roommates because it is just what you all need.
It’s the simple and the complex shaking hands. Becoming friends. Partnering with one another in the year that is 2020.
I have no choice but to shake both of their hands too. I think we will be here for a minute. So, I will shake and embrace what I can and rest in my own quiet bravery too because honestly, that is all we can do.