The Lord has been wrecking me recently—in the best way possible though.
Now I know that sounds weird, because how can you be wrecked in a good way? We hear the word wrecked and our minds think that whatever is wrecked must be premaritally ruined. A totaled car is a totaled car… it has no more use but to just sit in a junk yard. We have a tendency to see ourselves as a totaled car. We believe that once we are wrecked there is no way we could be rebuilt—but friends, the start of being rebuilt begins with being wrecked first.
We have to face life head on and often take the hit and the damage. We have to recognize that we are wrecked but not totaled. Our headlights may be broken, our paint may be scratched off, our tires may be missing, and our engine may barley run— but we are not totaled. He can and he will bring restoration. He will give us new headlights to make the path clearer. He will refresh our scratches with a whole new coat of paint. He will give us stronger and sturdier tires to lead us. And he will refuel our engine to run on nothing but Him.
Being wrecked and recognizing we are wrecked is hard and is often the place we all avoid. We don’t want to feel the hurt so instead we all drive with broken headlights, three tires, and an old rugged engine oblivious to the fact that we can’t see, we are weak, and we can’t move forward. Or we finally recognize we are wrecked and expect to be fixed within a day, when in reality it takes a lot of time to restore and repair the damage.
I’m sitting at a place of recognition of how wrecked I am. I feel the heaviness that comes with the damage of the hit. I feel that I only have three tires right now. And I feel that my engine can no longer run on what I supply it with. My engine is in desperate need of Him and all I have to do is open the gas tank to Him and allow Him to refuel and rebuild me. But in doing that, I have to lose the grip. I have to give him access to my tank and to my keys.
This transition back into Athens has been about learning all over again what it means to give him access to my tank and to my keys, every day. It has been about really recognizing how wrecked I am and that the process of being rebuilt takes time. And it has been about seeing that He has been with me in the wreckage. I read Psalm 13 on Friday and was drawn back to it this morning because of the last line—
“I will sing to the Lord, because He has dealt bountifully with me.” – Psalm 13:6
What a powerful thing it is to realize that He has dealt abundantly and generously with me. He deals with my every day wreckage. He deals with my sin. He deals with my mood swings. He deals with my selfishness and stubbornness. He deals with my hurt. But even still, He loves me. He welcomes me home time and time again and clothes me in His robe and celebrates my return. He rejoices in me. He waits for me and is ever so patient. He doesn’t make me fix myself first and then come to him—no, He asks me to come crushed with the engine catching flames. He desperately wants to put out the flames and rebuild. How can I not want to sing to the Lord with that truth? How can I not come to Him?
Friends, I want to encourage you to see that He dealing bountifully with you. He is with you. He is always ready to rebuild you when you are ready to recognize how wrecked you are. You are not totaled and you never will be, so stop putting yourself in the junk yard.
“Are you tired? Worn out? Burned out on religion? Come to me. Get away with me and you’ll recover your life. I’ll show you how to take a real rest. Walk with me and work with me—watch how I do it. Learn the unforced rhythms of grace. I won’t lay anything heavy or ill-lifting on you. Keep company with me and you’ll learn to live freely and lightly.” (Matthew 11:28-30 msg)
Allow him to show you how to take real rest. Learn the unforced rhythms of grace. See that He is with you and be with Him yourself. Don’t be discouraged if you feel wrecked— that is exactly where He works and that’s where His love will begin to wreck you in a different way.