The ticking clock

First of all, I hate clocks… they make me paranoid and if you can hear the clicking noise then chances are I will be removing that clock from wherever it lays. But that is all very besides the point, the ticking clock I am talking about here is just the time. The time that feels like it is not enough. I need more hours in the day to do all that my heart wants to do or to do all that is crucial to get done. I feel like I am sprinting full speed on a treadmill and there is no way to decrease the incline or the pace. I was talking a lot about this to my sweet friend Claire Payne. Claire is one of those girls who is just so fixated on the Lord and His love. She gets it. She is wise and eager to grow and she challenges me and my faith in the best way possible. And Claire and I both just crave more hours in the day or for time to at least go at a slower pace.

I mean I am laying in my bed at 1 in the morning and I find myself overwhelmed with thoughts and so pressed for time that I just needed to slow down and write some things out. I struggle with trying to fit everything into the 24 hours we are given in each day. I get frustrated when I can’t fit everything in and I find myself in this place of doubt, unknowingly. Yes, it is so hard to fit everything we want to do into 24 hours… but what I am starting to understand is that God has a divine purpose in giving us those 24 hours in a day. Maybe it is because He doesn’t want us to go go and go always. I think we have a God who restores and freely gives us rest. And I think that at 1 in the morning the Lord is telling me I need rest. And I do. We all do. Restoration and rest are so important. We need to give our hearts a break and we need to be replenished because with that, that is when we are able to go out and take advantage of whatever time we have. That is when we go and love deeply and follow fully.

Although I think my heart will always yearn for more time in the day, I want to give thanks and praise to the good Lord for those 24 hours in each day. I want to take advantage of those 24 hours. I want to love as much as possible and accomplish what I can in the time I’m given because the truth of it all is that I really have no idea how much time I’ll have in this lifetime. And man I am just thankful that I’ve been given these past 18 years because none of those days were guaranteed. We get so caught up and tied down to this world that we forget to appreciate our days, our hours, and just this life. We miss out on seeing what lies in front of us – all the goodness. We forget to notice all those little things that use to make our hearts jump. And I don’t want to not recognize those little things that are so important. I want to be so present where ever I am. I don’t want time to control me, I will take the hours I am given and I will overcome the ticking clock.

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